The Easiest Choice: Life Or Death

Do you realize it?

I am always watching.

I cannot touch you until you ask, but how can I let you walk through a forest built of thorns and razors without my assistance?

I will breathe away what branches I can as you pass. Even if your legs are still sliced open, I have saved you from greater pain.

Yet, if you would have asked, I could have covered you in glistening steel those blades would have broken off on.

Do you realize it?

I am constantly cradling you no matter how far back you command that I stay for your comfort.

I know you are sore and bruised and your beautiful skin is weeping red memories of your anguish. You shake when you are not alone, frightened like a deer. I know.

I could wash those scars from your skin, pale those bruises, and warm the ache that lives deep inside of your carefully stitched heart; if only you would ask.

Instead, I cradle the dirt beneath your feet and relish the grime that gets stuck in my fingernails.

I cradle the great trees which snaps its branches against your skin, forcing my eyes to watch your blood drip onto my palm, patiently awaiting your permission to heal these garish wounds.

I cradle the wind which caresses your tear smeared, gentle cheeks the way my feather light touches will when you ask me to come closer.

 

Do you realize it?

I am strong within your purple bruised heart, yet there you are, berating yourself for weakness as if you have used up all that you have inside.

                How dare your mind speak to you of sadness and pain, you will say.

                Damn this blood dripping into the crunching leaves beneath your feet, as if you can control the flow once your unguarded flesh is opened wide like a screaming mouth.

Just ask.

Welcome me to rise within you, to come but one step closer. I will not harm you the way others have.

My hands will never betray your trust the way your bruises will expect and wait for.

My lips will never utter at you in rage that will make your strong knees quiver beneath you.

My eyes will appraise only your beauty and your strength, not hunger for indecent things your skittering nerves cannot forget.

                I will only love. Love is all that I have to offer, and it is all that matters.

 

Do you realize it?

I am always here within you and beside you and watching above you all at once, even as you plow ahead in your stubbornness, telling yourself that you can do it all on your own. That no one can cease your pain and only reaching the end of the forest which will kill you before you get there, somehow you think that will save you. This anguish does not control you as long as you continue to run. As long as you continue to be tormented, you have not surrendered to it.

                It was in your acceptance that this pain is your only option that already gave it your strength.

 

Don’t you realize that you are murdering yourself slowly and surely while I am here crying out and awaiting your permission to simply take you into my arms where your wounds would heal, your skin will warm against mine, and you will survive.

I am your strength, your salvation, and I love you.

Don’t force me to watch you die with only blood and sharp anguish to hold you in those final moments.

                Give me a chance.

                Give me permission to change all things which you think are distinct and defined in their darkness.

                Let me show you the extent of the strength you have denied all this time while you ran on fumes because you used all you thought you had. I am still here waiting.

                Let me show you what true love will change a razorblade into.

 

I will deliver you whole to the other side of this forest which will otherwise destroy you.

I am life and I am love.

 

Do you not realize this?

You are chasing death as long as you deny me.

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